Yes, that's right! Today marks my 100th day of eating better and exercising! I definitely feel like doing some dancing. I can't believe it's already been 100 days. It really doesn't seem like it was that long ago. Today is also special because it marks the 100th day that my mom has been making healthier choices as well. We started this thing together and I'm very proud of her for keeping it up and sticking it out with me. We've almost hit 1/3 of a year of healthier lifestyles together. She's been the most important person to me in this journey. I don't know if I would be doing so well if it weren't for her.
Why is 100 so special to me? Considering the journey still ahead of me, why am I so happy about 100? No idea. But it feels like an accomplishment and I'm going to relish in it! 100 days from today was not a good day for me. I hated myself. Couldn't stand the look of myself and was very depressed with the person I had let myself become. In a desperate attempt to change things, I joined MFP. As I was logging in my information on MFP, setting my goals, taking before pictures, weighing and measuring myself, I was so sick of myself and disgusted in everything about me. That day I began watching everything I ate, trying to exercise (a very pitiful attempt), and just full of self-loathing. I decided that I had to do it this time. I had to succeed. What type of mother would I become if I continued to hate myself so much? I didn't want to find out. I wanted to be the good role model and good mother I know I can be. Show my children the way to live instead of just telling them what to do. "No, don't eat that, it's bad for you" and then not eat it myself. "Let's go outside and play!" and then actually play with them instead of watching them have fun.
It was a depressing start, that's for sure. I criticized everything I did and was very mean to myself. There was always that voice talking in my head with nasty hateful things to say. I was my worst enemy. I was afraid that if I didn't make changes, I wouldn't be able to hide my depression anymore. That it would really start to affect my day-to-day life. Of course, this made me hate myself more.
I started looking at all of the success stories on MFP. Reading their stories and hearing about their journeys were refreshing. I wasn't alone! I didn't have to fail!
First thing was first. I finally decided that it was time to forgive myself for being so fat and be proud of myself for making the right choice to get back on track. I wasn't going to put myself down anymore. In fact, I was going to be encouraging to myself. After that, things began to improve. I started finding new ways to cook things I enjoy and realized that calories and eating didn't have to be my enemy. I didn't have to hate food in order to lose weight. (What a relief, right?). I can still eat, feel satisfied, and lose weight! I didn't have to go to bed hungry or hate the food I was eating. Yes, food is fuel. But I want tasty fuel!
I began to push myself harder in the gym. I set mini goals to accomplish: 15 minutes of straight cardio today, 20 minutes tomorrow. Next thing I know, I was on the elliptical for an hour and could breathe just fine afterwards! I started out unable to lift 30 pounds of weight. Next thing I know, that 130 pound weight seemed light. I was improving! Slowly but surely! Then it started to show. Those pants that were too tight were falling down. Once I started seeing changes and improvements, I was hooked! If this is what it feels like to get healthy, I'm on board!
It's still trial and error for me. I try things at the gym, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I've changed my daily calorie goals a few times. Right now I eat 1370 calories a day. On days I workout, I eat back most of those exercise calories. Where before, the thought of eating my exercise calories was terrifying. I'm just trying to find that perfect fit for me. Something that will keep me going long term and keep the results coming. I'm still not there yet but I'm starting to understand my body better and learning what to do for it.
Most importantly. I love myself again. I take pictures of myself just for the hell of it now!
I've also begun to care about the way I look again. I've been using green tea facial cleanser and daily moisturizer with SPF. I put on make up again. I've tried some fun things with my hair. It no longer seems like a waste of time to put in effort in how I look. I'm not a lost cause!
I guess 100 days seems like such an accomplishment because a lot of growth has happened (and shrinking) over the last few months. I know I'm only half way there. But I feel more confident than ever that I will succeed. It's almost second nature now.
Okay, so I know you're wondering. What treat did I have for my 100th day celebration? Pure awesomeness. Using half of the recommended honey, I made these for the kids a few days ago, Peanut Butter Crispy Treats. I left the white chocolate off of mine and enjoyed one as well. They've been in the freezer.
Today, I thought about how good it would be with some chocolate. So, I used some mini dark chocolate chips and melted them in the microwave. Then I covered the treat in the chocolaty goodiness. It tasted almost like mix of a Reese Cup and a Nutter Butter. So good! Low in sugar and calories but very satisfying. Sorry about the bite mark in the picture. I took a bite and thought, I need to take a picture and share this!!
One last picture before I run off to do my fun Wednesday activities.
Does this sum it up or what??
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